10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss

Saying the wrong thing to your boss can really damage your career. From refusing to work with a colleague to bragging about your irreplaceability, here are 10 things you never want to say to your manager:

1. "Can you write that down for me?" When you're talking about the details of a project, writing notes to consult later is great. But you need to take them yourself, not ask your boss to do it for you.

2. "I just booked plane tickets for next month." Never book time off without clearing it with your boss. There might be a major project due that week, or she might have approved others to have that time off and therefore need you around. Check with her first before you do anything irreversible.

3. "My bad." There's nothing more frustrating than an employee who has made a mistake and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it, figure out how you're going to fix it, and make it clear that you understand its seriousness. Responses like "my bad" sound cavalier and signal that you don't take work seriously. Don't use it for anything other than the most minor mistake (like spilling something in the kitchen, which you then promptly clean up).

4. "I can't work with Joe." Refusing to work with a colleague is an unusually extreme statement and may mark you as difficult. Instead, try something like, "I find it hard to work well with Joe because of X and Y. Do you have any advice on how I can make it go more smoothly?"

5. "I don't know what you'd do without me." No one is irreplaceable, even the head of your company. Statements like this mark you as a prima donna who feels entitled to special treatment ... and will make a lot of managers want to show you that you're wrong.
6. "Do this, or I quit." Whether you're asking for a raise or requesting a day off, don't threaten to quit if you don't get your way. If you don't get what you want, you can always think it over and decide to quit, but if you use it as a threat in the negotiation itself, you'll lose your manager's respect and poison the relationship.

7. "I have another offer. Can you match it?" Using another job offer as a bargaining chip to get your current employer to pay you more money may be tempting, but it often ends badly. First, you may be told to take the other offer, even if you don't really want it--and then you'll have to follow through. Second, even if your employer does match the offer, they'll now assume you're looking to leave, and you may be on the top of the lay-off list if the company needs to make cutbacks. If you want a raise, negotiate it on your own merits.

8. "What's the big deal?" Statements like this are dismissive and disrespectful. If your manager is concerned about something, you need to be concerned about it too. If you genuinely don't understand what the big deal is, say something like, "I want to understand where you're coming from so we're on the same page. Can you help me understand how you're seeing this?"

9. "I can't do X because I need to do Y." Don't say that you can't do something your manager is asking of you. Instead, if there's a conflict with another project, explain the conflict and ask your manager which is more important.

10."That's not my job." Protesting that something isn't in your job description is a good way to lose the support of your boss. Job descriptions aren't comprehensive, and most people end up doing work that doesn't fall squarely within that job description. (That's what "and other duties as assigned" means.) You want to make yourself more valuable to your employer, not less.

9 Things That Motivate Employees More Than Money

The ability to motivate employees is one of the greatest skills an entrepreneur can possess. Two years ago, I realized I didn't have this skill. So I hired a CEO who did.

Josh had 12 years in the corporate world, which included running a major department at Comcast. I knew he was seasoned, but I was still skeptical at first. We were going through some tough growing pains, and I thought that a lack of cash would make it extremely difficult to improve the company morale.

I was wrong.

With his help and the help of the great team leaders he put in place, Josh not only rebuilt the culture, but also created a passionate, hard-working team that is as committed to growing and improving the company as I am. 

Here are nine things I learned from him:

1. Be generous with praise. Everyone wants it and it's one of the easiest things to give. Plus, praise from the CEO goes a lot farther than you might think. Praise every improvement that you see your team members make. Once you're comfortable delivering praise one-on-one to an employee, try praising them in front of others.
2. Get rid of the managers. Projects without project managers? That doesn't seem right! Try it. Removing the project lead or supervisor and empowering your staff to work together as a team rather then everyone reporting to one individual can do wonders. Think about it. What's worse than letting your supervisor down? Letting your team down! Allowing people to work together as a team, on an equal level with their co-workers, will often produce better projects faster. People will come in early, stay late, and devote more of their energy to solving problems.  
3. Make your ideas theirs. People hate being told what to do. Instead of telling people what you want done; ask them in a way that will make them feel like they came up with the idea. "I'd like you to do it this way" turns into "Do you think it's a good idea if we do it this way?"  
4. Never criticize or correct. No one, and I mean no one, wants to hear that they did something wrong. If you're looking for a de-motivator, this is it. Try an indirect approach to get people to improve, learn from their mistakes, and fix them. Ask, "Was that the best way to approach the problem? Why not? Have any ideas on what you could have done differently?" Then you're having a conversation and talking through solutions, not pointing a finger.  
5. Make everyone a leader. Highlight your top performers' strengths and let them know that because of their excellence, you want them to be the example for others. You'll set the bar high and they'll be motivated to live up to their reputation as a leader.  
6. Take an employee to lunch once a week. Surprise them. Don't make an announcement that you're establishing a new policy. Literally walk up to one of your employees, and invite them to lunch with you. It's an easy way to remind them that you notice and appreciate their work.  
7. Give recognition and small rewards. These two things come in many forms: Give a shout out to someone in a company meeting for what she has accomplished. Run contests or internal games and keep track of the results on a whiteboard that everyone can see. Tangible awards that don't break the bank can work too. Try things like dinner, trophies, spa services, and plaques. 
8. Throw company parties. Doing things as a group can go a long way. Have a company picnic. Organize birthday parties. Hold a happy hour. Don't just wait until the holidays to do a company activity; organize events throughout the year to remind your staff that you're all in it together. 
9. Share the rewards—and the pain. When your company does well, celebrate. This is the best time to let everyone know that you're thankful for their hard work. Go out of your way to show how far you will go when people help your company succeed. If there are disappointments, share those too. If you expect high performance, your team deserves to know where the company stands. Be honest and transparent. 

7 Things Your Employees Never Want to Hear

Sure, actions speak louder than words, but where your employees are concerned, words can still be motivation and morale killers—especially when you use the wrong words.

Here are seven things you should never say to your employees:

1. "Good idea—now if we also…." Successful—and unsuccessful—people often try too hard to add value. While you may be able to improve on an employee's idea, and while it may be easy for you to map out an implementation plan based on that idea, when you do you run the risk of killing their motivation.

Try this instead. Say, "Wow, that's a really good idea," and then ask questions. Ask how they thought of the idea. Ask about the reasoning behind the idea. Ask how they think the idea should be implemented. Often the employee will already have the answers, and if not, you can gently guide them in the right direction.

From an employee’s point of view the best ideas are almost never your ideas. The best ideas are their ideas, and deservedly so. When an employee comes to you with an idea, make sure it stays their idea.

2. "Look. I’m in charge here." Dealing with different opinions or even open dissent is challenging for any small business owner. It’s easy to feel defensive and insecure. When that happens you might be tempted to fall back on the golden rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.

Never fall back on, “I’m in charge,” to end a discussion with employees. Every employee knows you're in charge; saying so destroys any feelings of collaboration, teamwork, and “we’re all in this together.” When you can't back up a decision with data or logic that decision probably isn't the right decision.

Don't be afraid to back down. Don’t be afraid to say your initial opinions or decisions are wrong. Employees respect you even more when you admit you make a mistake.

3. "I have a great opportunity for you." Great opportunities are almost never great, since the phrase is typically followed by the “opportunity” take on additional work or handle a project no one wants. Say, "Susan, next week you’ll start working on a new project with our best customer," and Susan knows it’s a great opportunity for her. Say, "Susan, this will be a great opportunity for you: Next week you’ll start sorting out all the problems in our warehouse," and Susan knows she just got stuck.

Truly great opportunities require no setup. Don’t sell or you’ll leave your employees feeling sold.

4. "Man, I’m looking forward to my trip to Europe." Some business owners assume their employees will be inspired by their (conspicuous) success. Most employees are not.

The more you talk about how successful you are, whether overtly or implicitly, the more your employees will resent the fact your success is based on their hard work.

Is that fair? No. Does it happen? Absolutely. Never brag about your success to your employees. Be humble.

5. "I’ve had enough. I’m out of here." Perspective is everything. From your perspective, owning a business can be stressful, draining, and overwhelming. From the employee's perspective you have it made.

Employees don’t want to feel your pain. Never expect employees to empathize with you. If you must talk about a hard day’s work, talk about how the day was challenging and everyone pulled together to make stuff happen. Or share how much you appreciate your employees’ help. Always turn a difficult day into a way to recognize how hard your employees worked, not how hard you worked.

6. "No." Saying no is okay as long as the word “no” is never followed by a period. Explanations are always required when you refuse a request or turn down an idea—even if the reasoning behind your decision seems obvious to you.

As a business owner you probably don’t have a job description, but if you did, “Explain, explain, explain,” would appear near the top of your list of duties.

7. "We." We is a powerful word—except when it’s not. Employees can tell when you pay lip service to “we.”

In public, say “I” when your company makes a mistake. Say “we” when your company does something well.

Inside your company, say “you” when employees do something well. Say “we” when you do something well—because your success is always built by and based on the efforts of your employees.