Thursday, May 14, 2009

HR= HIGH RISK( OFFICE HUMOR )




After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;


My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. I.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours I.e . 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.


Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!


Saturday, April 11, 2009

"BOSS IS BOSS", BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT………







When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don’t do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,


When I make a mistake,
I’ am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he’s only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he’s on business.


When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.



When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it’s because he’s
overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A TEAR OF JOY





Rising slowly from the east
Lighting the world with all its panache
Mighty sun’s caveats for inexorable yeast
I looked at the natures run with all its amaze

Water flowing through the stream
Euphonious sound with blinding gleam
Nothing to feign, just pure and pristine
The moon waning itself thin and lean

Sun flowers stretching their petals
Jewels of dewdrops strewn on the grassland
tranquil Ducklings dancing on their paddles
Incredulous beauty brimming of the wonderland

I catch the wonders in a glimpse of an eye
Shimmering brighter than the celestial sky
Dropping down from my eye like a tear of joy