5 Secrets to Become a Great Leader

Each of us has an inherent liking for leaders. People who exhibit authority and charisma and lead others often engage our attention.

If you too crave to be a leader at your office or develop better leadership skills, the following information can be really useful:

Communicate with Transparency

Communication is the biggest tool that you can use to turn into an effective leader. Being a leader doesn’t mean being born with extraordinary skills. A leader too needs to commit mistakes, pay his dues and learn along the way. If you are open to honest conversations, including giving & receiving feedback, you qualify as an upfront and capable individual—an impressive trait that would make people trust you with responsibility. Many employees complain about their team leaders or managers not being sensitive to their problems. Even worse are instances when managers seem aloof and unapproachable. These are all examples of leaders who have poor communication skills.

Be Proud Not Egoistic

Leaders need to have a commanding aura, clearly establishing that they are in control. Having self-confidence and some degree of pride are associated with most leaders. However, this blend of qualities shouldn’t include ego. When a person becomes egoistic, his leadership starts oscillating between arrogance and being smug with authority. None of these traits are liked by people. If you truly want to become a leader, you need to gain a bigger understanding on issues. This means looking at things from somebody else’s perspective too but an egoistic person is incapable of doing so. A proud leader can still maintain an open mind and gain advice from others. An egoistic leader is prone to distancing himself from his well-wishers as he cannot digest the smallest bit of ridicule. Once a person loses that vital vibe of understanding with his inner circle of confidantes, his leadership becomes short-lived.

Lead by Setting Examples

People often question how to establish authority and ensure that people look up to you. Perhaps, the easiest way of doing so is leading by example. This is the easiest form of leadership since an active and capable leader doesn’t need to explain much. His actions alone prove his credibility. Consider the example of a king leading his men in the battlefield, riding at the front. Tactically, hundreds of soldiers converge upon the enemy, in front of the king, when war is declared. However, the mere presence of the king riding with the pack and leading it, establishes his valor to his subjects. It instantly snubs any challenge to his influence.

Appreciate & Reward

People entrusted with leadership positions often forget to encourage their team members. The biggest way of boosting tempo of an employee/team member is to appreciate his or her efforts. Appreciation in person can work wonders to uplift an employee or the entire team. It is the biggest psychological stimulus a person needs to continue working hard. If along with appreciation, you can combine some sort of reward, no matter how small, the appreciation is further driven home. Management gurus often quote the examples of iron-fisted leaders who put forth incredibly-high incentives. This ensures that a team member has the biggest motivation to accept the hierarchy and work better, i.e. money.

Don’t Ridicule but Rectify

This might be slightly confusing but there is a huge difference between correcting somebody and ridiculing. Many times, we combine the two and believe that pointing out a mistake invariably includes some degree of ridicule. However, correcting someone without being animatedly angry, making defamatory remarks or hurting sentiments constitutes Rectification. This establishes you as a patient and effective leader ready to invest time and effort in your team.

How to stop being too nice at work

As human beings it is natural for us to need approval, to be seen as a nice, likeable person among a large percentage of people, both in our personal and our professional life. 

We might not even care about such and such person, but their opinion is somehow important for us. Some people go to great lengths to maintain this facade. Are you one of these people? Are you a pushover? Are you a people-pleaser?

This friend of mine is the most hardworking, sincere person I know. But his colleagues, especially his boss used to walk all over him. He’d tell me how angry he was and would often talk of quitting work. His boss would make him work late, ask him to work even on weekends and public holidays. He would have him run errands for him: get him cigarettes, glass of water, take messages for him on the phone, and when it was his turn for an appraisal, he’d say, “I can’t give you a raise because you’re not working hard enough. Maybe next year.”

He was hurt and almost broke down one day. Others, who were hardly competent, were being promoted and sent to onsite projects in the US and UK. “What am I doing wrong?” he asked. “I’m the one first one in the office and the last to leave. Sometimes I even sleep at work.” I decided enough was enough and told him he was being too nice at work and that he needed to find the nerve to tell his boss, “I need a proper appraisal, and have your office boy get you your cigarettes. It’s not my job.”

Stop Being Too Polite

Do you feel most of the work comes your way because your colleagues are not completing the tasks assigned to them? Every time there’s an anomaly, fingers are pointed at you? That your colleagues get away with things because they know you won’t say squat? It’s time you stopped being too polite,stopped being a brown-noser. You can still have basic manners and etiquettes, but draw a line. If someone is being rude, just take them aside and tell them, “You cannot talk to me like that. This is unacceptable behaviour.” They will not repeat it. Try it, it’s liberating.

Stop being a People-Pleaser

Are you always trying to please those around you? Do you always end up saying Yes, even when you don’t want to? Are you afraid you will hurt their feelings if you say No? It’s a pattern. It gets set in the family, then translates into your friendships and then eventually is established at your work place. You need to learn to set boundaries. If you can’t do something, say so, or else, people can be selfish enough to use you. It’s very logical really. If you put too many things in your mouth, you will not be able to chew any of it properly. So it’s only fair you take less on your plate and do justice to each item.

Learn to be Assertive

You don’t want to be too nice and lose out on opportunities. If you’re in a managerial position, you don’t want your niceness to make your company make any less money. You don’t need to become nasty overnight, but you need to find a midway. You don’t want to be Jack from Titanic. If there’s a way to save yourself, too, why not? If at an appraisal you need to tell someone they are under performing, you might as well say it, or else they would never know and continue to be a deadweight on your team. For the fear of displeasing that one person, would you rather bring the entire team down?

Don’t Always Avoid Confrontation

Yes, confrontation is uncomfortable, but it has to be done sometimes. If at a team meeting, someone comes up with a terrible marketing strategy, you’d do better to challenge the proposition right away, rather than agreeing to follow it and regretting it later. A leaking tap should be tackled immediately, rather than waiting for it to flood the entire house. Man up, and if it means having to confront a difficult employee, so be it.

 Be nice and kind by all means. Say, Thank you, where required. Say, Sorry, where needed. But don’t be a doormat. Stop trying to appease everyone, because you will be not only be hurting yourself in the process, but also your business. It will also prevent you from achieving your true potential. No need to be mean and selfish either. Continue helping others, but out of your own volition, not because you feel cornered. Learn to stand up for yourself because your needs or goals are just as important as anyone else’s. There is no need for a guilt trip here. 

Dealing with rude people at work

We encounter rude people everywhere, especially atour work places.

They are simply…rude. There’s possibly no reason for them to be like that towards you, but they just are. It’s appalling at times: cutting you in the coffee line, or getting aggressive for no reason, or not responding when you greet them in the morning. Generally, we just think to ourselves, ‘What just happened?’ and walk away. But at times, our niceness is seen as fear and the rude person’s behaviour continues to get worse. There are a few simple things you can do curb such behaviour:

#1 Turn around and face the perpetrator

Rude people are as worse as the bullies you faced in high school. You thought you’d never have to face them again in your adult life. But here they are again. Rude people think that they can get away with murder, a cocky confidence of being the alpha male or female of the pack. It could be a case ofmood swings, but there’s only so much you can take. Turn around and look them in the eye.

I had this female colleague who was rude to everyone. She’d treat people like they were her servants. She used that tone with me one day, which made me feel like I was nothing but a data entry operator. I didn’t say anything right away. I called her aside and said firmly, “I find your tone offensive. I don’t like being spoken to that way. I’d appreciate if you don’t use that tone with me again.’ I saw her crack. She apologized immediately and I personally haven’t had that issue with her again. This approach can be used in any situation, even if, say someone has been piling your desk with work. You can tell them, “I have a bunch of things in hand. If I finish those on time, I shall look at these.”

#2 Gandhigiri

Remember Munnabhai and his wise words? This approach works sometimes. Say someone is knowingly or unknowingly being rude and arrogant towards you. For example, your office peon tells you in an acerbic tone to come and get your tea from the pantry, you don’t need to stoop to his level and raise your voice. Instead, you gently smile and thank him for letting you know. For all you know, he’s going through a personal crisis at home. If your gentle behaviour touches him he’ll either apologize or alter his behaviour against you. Instead of giving rude people what they want -- a challenge, an opportunity for a fight -- you can practise Gandhigiri and throw them off.

#3 Don’t pay them much attention

Unfortunately, some people have never had the social training on how to be polite and well behaved in a civil society. There is no point in trying to change them. Avoiding them is the best option here. If you have to interact with them, keep your interaction to a minimum. Be the “hi, hello” kinds, as they say. Talk business and nothing else: “Please courier this packet to the mentioned address. Thanks.” The important thing to remember is to not lose your own temper, or else what’s the difference between that person and yourself? 

A mongrel will always bark at a passing elephant, but the elephant keeps walking. Follow this old saying and you will be just fine. See which approach from the ones mentioned above works for you. If nothing does, and the situation seems to be getting out of your hand, immediately report the matter to your HR department. Don’t let rude people get to you, and continue to enjoy your work.