Dealing with rude people at work

We encounter rude people everywhere, especially atour work places.

They are simply…rude. There’s possibly no reason for them to be like that towards you, but they just are. It’s appalling at times: cutting you in the coffee line, or getting aggressive for no reason, or not responding when you greet them in the morning. Generally, we just think to ourselves, ‘What just happened?’ and walk away. But at times, our niceness is seen as fear and the rude person’s behaviour continues to get worse. There are a few simple things you can do curb such behaviour:

#1 Turn around and face the perpetrator

Rude people are as worse as the bullies you faced in high school. You thought you’d never have to face them again in your adult life. But here they are again. Rude people think that they can get away with murder, a cocky confidence of being the alpha male or female of the pack. It could be a case ofmood swings, but there’s only so much you can take. Turn around and look them in the eye.

I had this female colleague who was rude to everyone. She’d treat people like they were her servants. She used that tone with me one day, which made me feel like I was nothing but a data entry operator. I didn’t say anything right away. I called her aside and said firmly, “I find your tone offensive. I don’t like being spoken to that way. I’d appreciate if you don’t use that tone with me again.’ I saw her crack. She apologized immediately and I personally haven’t had that issue with her again. This approach can be used in any situation, even if, say someone has been piling your desk with work. You can tell them, “I have a bunch of things in hand. If I finish those on time, I shall look at these.”

#2 Gandhigiri

Remember Munnabhai and his wise words? This approach works sometimes. Say someone is knowingly or unknowingly being rude and arrogant towards you. For example, your office peon tells you in an acerbic tone to come and get your tea from the pantry, you don’t need to stoop to his level and raise your voice. Instead, you gently smile and thank him for letting you know. For all you know, he’s going through a personal crisis at home. If your gentle behaviour touches him he’ll either apologize or alter his behaviour against you. Instead of giving rude people what they want -- a challenge, an opportunity for a fight -- you can practise Gandhigiri and throw them off.

#3 Don’t pay them much attention

Unfortunately, some people have never had the social training on how to be polite and well behaved in a civil society. There is no point in trying to change them. Avoiding them is the best option here. If you have to interact with them, keep your interaction to a minimum. Be the “hi, hello” kinds, as they say. Talk business and nothing else: “Please courier this packet to the mentioned address. Thanks.” The important thing to remember is to not lose your own temper, or else what’s the difference between that person and yourself? 

A mongrel will always bark at a passing elephant, but the elephant keeps walking. Follow this old saying and you will be just fine. See which approach from the ones mentioned above works for you. If nothing does, and the situation seems to be getting out of your hand, immediately report the matter to your HR department. Don’t let rude people get to you, and continue to enjoy your work.

JAMALPUR

As I start on a journey of putting my thoughts into words & sharing them with you, it is just befitting that I start from the very beginning. The beginning of me!

I hail from a small town in Bihar (India) called Jamalpur. And, I wouldn't blame it on you for not having heard of it earlier. I would start with describing it for you as the most beautiful town ever, picturesque, full with its share of hills, lakes & waterfalls. It is best known for hosting India's first & the largest Railway workshop. It also boasts of churning out in its foothills, the most revered Special Class Railway Apprentices, better understood as the Indian Railways' top brass, its mighty officers. Thanks to the Railways, Jamalpur has always had a very cosmopolitan feel.

Everything about this town is special… where on the one hand it has that oh-so rustic feel, on the other, its people display such broad-mindedness that could put into shells many of our metropolitan-denizens. It is a town as self-sufficient as could be. After having widely traveled the length & breadth of the country, I still maintain that I have not seen a school as mighty as Notre Dame Academy. This school has some of the greatest teachers who everyday play a very crucial role in churning out an enviable alumni list! You could say I am biased, but I say I have been fortunate to have spent my school years in this wonderful institution. And, I say so after having studied in some of the finest & highly prestigious colleges later in life. Alumni of this school have stormed the world & excelled beyond narration!

Everything about this place, small and big is special. The tinned Workshop boundary with long entwined black pipes welcome you as your train enters Jamalpur Junction. The majestic spread of the Workshop can leave great architects spellbound. As you enter this small town, be ready to appreciate the warmth that its people & buildings have to offer. The Kali pahaaddefines the skyline of the town. Climb up and you get to see the Water Works and the ancient Kali temple. Come monsoon and the sparkling waterfalls would be ready to wash down the hills.

No description of this town is complete without mentioning the very famous Golf Ground. I could even go on to say (& not get challenged) that no kid in this Railway township would have attained puberty without having tried a hand at golf. Or swimming. Or tennis. Or billiards. TheOfficers' Club has all of these and much more within a 10-minute walking distance; things you would end up spending a couple of grands & traveling tens of kilometers in a city like Delhi or Mumbai or Bangalore. Right from the years of British slavery, people of Jamalpur have been interested in sports & we do have those white men to thank for establishing the JSA Ground (stadium). Not to forget the Gymkhana, the Railway Institute & the Central Institute (CI) all of which gave cultural entertainment an all new scope & definition. The pandal at Children's Park during Durga Pujawould become the hub of all action, boasting of the Who's Who of Jamalpur & nearby towns.

Jamalpur is also known for some exquisite delicacies. Who would have sampled anywhere else on this planet, Mughlai Parantha the way Cooking House and Madras Coffee House prepared it & served so uniquely with a South Indian sambhar! And, that chicken curry at Hotel Yatrik, would leave behind preparations by the greatest of chefs in our star hotels.

Move a few kilometers ahead and you would reach Munger, Jamalpur's twin town. The Bihar School of Yoga, established as the headquarters of the International Yoga Fellowship has catapulted this town onto the world map. The Ganga flows serenely through this mystical town, washing away all sins & sorrows, which is why it is aptly called the Kashtharni. This town is also said to have great historical and mythological significance as being ruled by Karna during Mahabharata. The Fort ruins are still an indication of the might it would have commanded centuries earlier.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss

Saying the wrong thing to your boss can really damage your career. From refusing to work with a colleague to bragging about your irreplaceability, here are 10 things you never want to say to your manager:

1. "Can you write that down for me?" When you're talking about the details of a project, writing notes to consult later is great. But you need to take them yourself, not ask your boss to do it for you.

2. "I just booked plane tickets for next month." Never book time off without clearing it with your boss. There might be a major project due that week, or she might have approved others to have that time off and therefore need you around. Check with her first before you do anything irreversible.

3. "My bad." There's nothing more frustrating than an employee who has made a mistake and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it, figure out how you're going to fix it, and make it clear that you understand its seriousness. Responses like "my bad" sound cavalier and signal that you don't take work seriously. Don't use it for anything other than the most minor mistake (like spilling something in the kitchen, which you then promptly clean up).

4. "I can't work with Joe." Refusing to work with a colleague is an unusually extreme statement and may mark you as difficult. Instead, try something like, "I find it hard to work well with Joe because of X and Y. Do you have any advice on how I can make it go more smoothly?"

5. "I don't know what you'd do without me." No one is irreplaceable, even the head of your company. Statements like this mark you as a prima donna who feels entitled to special treatment ... and will make a lot of managers want to show you that you're wrong.
6. "Do this, or I quit." Whether you're asking for a raise or requesting a day off, don't threaten to quit if you don't get your way. If you don't get what you want, you can always think it over and decide to quit, but if you use it as a threat in the negotiation itself, you'll lose your manager's respect and poison the relationship.

7. "I have another offer. Can you match it?" Using another job offer as a bargaining chip to get your current employer to pay you more money may be tempting, but it often ends badly. First, you may be told to take the other offer, even if you don't really want it--and then you'll have to follow through. Second, even if your employer does match the offer, they'll now assume you're looking to leave, and you may be on the top of the lay-off list if the company needs to make cutbacks. If you want a raise, negotiate it on your own merits.

8. "What's the big deal?" Statements like this are dismissive and disrespectful. If your manager is concerned about something, you need to be concerned about it too. If you genuinely don't understand what the big deal is, say something like, "I want to understand where you're coming from so we're on the same page. Can you help me understand how you're seeing this?"

9. "I can't do X because I need to do Y." Don't say that you can't do something your manager is asking of you. Instead, if there's a conflict with another project, explain the conflict and ask your manager which is more important.

10."That's not my job." Protesting that something isn't in your job description is a good way to lose the support of your boss. Job descriptions aren't comprehensive, and most people end up doing work that doesn't fall squarely within that job description. (That's what "and other duties as assigned" means.) You want to make yourself more valuable to your employer, not less.